So here is my most recent drama.... I have been needing a haircut for the past couple of weeks but kept putting it off or just didn't have time. But this past week at CrossFit, I was getting irritated with the thickness and puffyness of my hair. Then on Friday, this picture was taken at the Box.....
|I am top right!!|
Lots of casual chatting went on for awhile while she was cutting my hair. And then it dawned me....she was still cutting even after several minutes. I had noticed there was more hair in my lap than I had expected....but I hadn't seen it in the mirror just yet cos she had me turned in the opposite direction. I was getting nervous, but shame on me, cos I didn't say anything. She finally turned me around where I could get a glimpse and I thought I was going to cry right then and there. I don't think I heard anything else she said the remainder of the time, as I was in complete shock. I was expecting what I showed her with these top two pics....but ended with the bottom three pics. I won't lie, I came home and cried to my husband and my three kids! :-(
One reason I hate this haircut is because it isn't my personality. I feel like the cut/style I had before was right on.
But the honest reason I HATE this cut is because it immediately makes me feel FAT. And I know exactly why. I had this cut before......almost 10years ago. I WAS FAT then! I WAS TIRED! I WAS HUNGRY! I WAS NOT MANDY!!! This cut immediately takes me back to this time. The cut brings back all these emotions and insecurities I had back then. DISLIKE!!!
|Post Gabe Pregnancy--GROSS!|
I know it's just hair and it will grow back. But I am just so upset at myself...for so many reasons.....
1) Why did I let that first picture put me into a FREAK OUT MODE of I have to fix the HAIR NOW!!! I should have never gone to go get my hair cut to start with----especially over one lousy pic or bad hair day!
2) Why didn't I tell the hair dresser EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED? Looking back I see now that when I said shorter, she thought I meant shorter style. I should have said...same style just trim it! UGH! This is so my fault!!!
3) Why am I letting my bad haircut change my self-image and self confidence? I am not that FAT MOM in that picture anymore! I am a "fit mom" making progress everyday! It's just hair! It could be worse!
Anyhow. I am still struggling with this haircut. I avoid the mirror and have been having a hard time smiling the last couple of days, cos I am so upset about it! But I am thankful I can leave town for a week and perhaps get used to the new hairdo. Who knows, maybe I will accidentally start liking it???