A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Terrible Thoughts

I have been feeling really good about the progress that both Todd and I have been making in the last month.  For myself, I have been feeling stronger and thinner.  I have been wearing sundresses and shorts and not feeling too self-conscious.  It's been so freeing and fun!----- That was, up till I saw a picture today of me at crossfit!

O MY GOSH YALL!!!! I look like the Miss Hulk...and not in a good way.  I look as if I am 8ft tall and have shoulders just as wide!  It is not attractive! NOT AT ALL!  I am telling yall....this picture is TERRIBLE!  And I am really afraid that this picture is reflecting what I really look like.  Which scares me! And makes me super sad and frustrated...and even a bit defeated.

And something I find interesting is the way the mirror images can changed based on how you feel or what your mind believes.  All last week, I wasn't sad when I saw my flaws in the mirror (those bigger and more unpleasant parts) because I was believing they were slowly going away.  I was feeling more confident! And feeling like I was getting closer to my goal.

But then, immediately after I see this picture, that same mirror image looks totally different now.  All of a sudden my flaws seem bigger again and I am now seeing myself completely different.  And I don't like this!  I wish this picture would have never surfaced, so I wouldn't be second guessing myself and all the hard work I have put in! 

Even my daughter told me I looked "deformed"! LOL!  She swears I don't look like this picture, but of course she is gonna say that! She is a daughter......

The bottom, right pic is the one haunting me.

 I know we sometimes get a bad pic or a bad angle.....and I am trying hard to convince myself that that is what is happening in that bottom, right picture!  And also the fact that I am next to a totally in shape, totally toned, skinny girl.  :-). But I admit...this picture has haunted me all day!  I really didn't think I looked like that....or even close to that, but perhaps I do. Which means I have a whole lot more work to put in than I thought! Feeling frustrated and defeated tonight!

Tomorrow I will wake up and start my day with a run...... And keep eating clean and try to move on from this terrible self doubt.  But I wanted to be honest!  Needed to document this and learn from it! 

SAY GOOD BYE TO MISS HULK BTW!!!!