To Be a WorryWart or Not?

As most are aware, I hit the 6week post op milestone this week.....which means I have no limitations other than to gradually work my way into my normal workout routine.  Which means, I am doing CrossFit without modification, but I am doing less weights and maybe going at about a 70-80% effort.  I am to listen to my body and to not over do it.

So this week I went to crossfit three straight days.  My first two days were HARDCORE but I did scale it some but completed both WODS with a great effort.  But yesterday, I hit a WALL.  The WOD wasn't even a hard WOD...but I think I was just tired and didn't know it?  

The WOD was to run a 300, do 3 Squat Snatches at 80% (I did less than 50% weight) and 3 OH Squats and 24 knee to elbow sit-ups (5 ROUNDS).  Round 1-3 were great (running plus less weight kept me being pretty speedy) but about halfway through the 4th round I hit a wall, where I felt a little tired.....wait, ALOT OF TIRED.  I even thought if I kept going at the same pace, I might get sick.  I had to completely slow down and get myself on a much slower pace to finish. I DID FINISH---but I was WORN OUT!!!

I was WORN OUT! SORE! TIRED! But also so happy to have finally be a place that I could quite worrying about the new additions!! I had reached this place earlier this week that I was finally not going to worry about the additions ANYMORE!! I AM SIX WEEKS POST OP!  ALL IS GOOD NOW!!  Like I said, I have been soo sick of worrying about every little thing about the healing process (which I assume is normal--esp when they cost so much $$$).   I was happy to have the freedom to be me again; to go hard, to sweat like crazy, and to push myself.  FREEDOM!!! No more worrying!! 

8.5mile bike ride this morning

THEN TODAY!!!!  This morning I got up and rode my bike and did some back squats and ab work (took it easy on the chest today after 3 WODS).  But after I showered, I noticed a greenish bruise (very light) on one of the additions.  I immediately thought it was nothing to worry about but thought I would call the office just to get a confirm that it was nothing to worry with.  But they said the dr wanted to see me TODAY. :-( YIKES!! So WORRY WART was back!  

Of course, I was starting to think I must have gone hard too quickly this past week and had caused something to go wrong!!!  :-(.   I got to the the dr office...the dr saw me walk in and he got me right in before everyone else for quick examine!  He immediately smiled and said---JUST A BRUISE!!! YAE!!!  He actually pointed to Todd and said it was a "marriage bruise" HAHA!! 

He then did a full examination of my healing process and gave me the green light to compete in my next CrossFit Competition (scaled division since I am still in a bit of recovery mode) on June 21.  He said there were no signs of CC, bottoming out, seroma......which have all been some of my worries with having OVER THE MUSCLE implants.  He was very pleased with HIS work and my healing!!!  And he told me I can have freedom from worrying!  

His words were "If it feels funny, it's ok.  If it hurts, stop! If no pain or no swelling, then I am good!"

FOR FUN AND GIGGLES!! --I am in trouble when I am 80yrs old!!!

I am BACK!! And it feels GREAT!!!

I am officially six weeks post op and back at the gym (aka The Box).  Yes, I have been doing some very modified WODs at CrossFit (mainly lower body and very limited upper body) the last week or so.  But this week I have no restrictions----but just to take it easy, listen to my body, and scale it a little at first.

Yesterday was my first real---and unmodified WOD.  It wasn't too bad as we did back squats for skill...then a competitive ladder of Clean and Jerks.  I have not been allowed to clean and jerk in six weeks so I was very cautious starting out.  I am proud to say, I had no issues.  I started with 35# and ended with 125#.  I did opt to not jerk anything over 105 just to be on the safe side.  We also ran 200m sprints.  This was a first in 6weeks, too.  Again, no issues.  And even came home, rested, and woke up not even sore (not boobie sore---but was sore like I would typically expected).

Got my bag on my hip and ready to WOD!

Today was the real test though, as the workout had a lot of movements I was scared to do. Not only a lot of different movements, but also a lot of each movements (a lot of reps).
Warm up alone was a little scary as it had pushups and strict pull-ups in it.  But I did the pushups with ease and would only do two pull ups at a time with a band for now.

The WOD was....  ***I modified just about everything just to be safe! **These had a lot of movements I haven't done in 6weeks that involve the chest somehow.  Better safe than sorry!!!

50 calories row  (I didn't go all out with speed--just a nice easy pace)
50 Box Jump Overs
50 Deadlifts 120#
50 Wall Balls  (I used 10#ball & hitting the lower line---but ended up hitting the top line by then end)
50 Ring Dips (opted to not do these yet---so I did pushups with quick breaks every 5 pushups)
50 Wall Balls
50 Deadlifts
50 Box Jumps Overs
50 Cal Row

I am thrilled that I was able to do all these movements!  I really was nervous about every thing I tried today. Deadlifts involve the use of the chest in the upright position, especially with heavy weights (but luckily 120# is not heavy to me--I max over 300#).  The wall balls scared me due to the throwing motion overhead and of course the thought of missing a catch and having a ball land on my chest:-(  RING DIPS---waiting a week to do these. Oh, and even box jumps because of the use of explosive arm motions is a bit scary.   I am very surprised that it nothing bothered me! I am thrilled too:-).  And even now, just a few hours later, I have no swelling or discomfort!!!  :-).

I am a happy-happy girl!!!


***Now with some exciting news.  I am almost done with my front part of interning (the observing part)....  The next 40hours I will be coaching with some assistance:-).  That's exciting and a bit nerve-racking to know that I will be monitored the whole time! LOL!

I am officially on the schedule to COACH starting June 9th for the remainder of the summer.  That's super cool.  What's not so cool is I am teaching Monday thru Wednesday, 5am, 6am, and 7am!!! WOWZERS!  Alarm will be going off at 4:25am people! PRAY FOR ME!!! But at least I will be home before the kids wake up---and most likely before Todd goes to work too! LOL!  **Luckily it's only three days a week.

Super Happy to be back at it!!!!!!!

MOTIVATION!!! It finally came back!

Wow!! It's been right at 5months since my surgery.  And even though I gave myself a "break" for two weeks....the weeks following DID NOT go as I had planned or hoped for.  Now with that being said....my recovery has been pretty simple and pretty easy.  But the diet recovery part has been a big challenge.  I have attempted to start the 21 day sugar detox just two weeks after the surgery=FAIL.  Then three weeks post recovery began a strict clean eating plan=somewhat of a fail.

Now don't get me wrong.... I didn't blow it!!! But I sure wasn't in the zone like I have been in the months past.

I have stayed wheat free for the most part though---not because I didn't cheat, but simply because when I did cheat, there was a price to pay!! Wheat and me do NOT go together anymore.

I am not sure why I wasn't able to reach my diet goals this past month.   Maybe it was my body's way of saying I wasn't ready?  Maybe I just was lazy?  But I think it may have been a mental thing.....meaning, since I couldn't workout like I normally do, I lost some of the motivation.

So last week I had been cleared to start slowly progressing back into my normal routine...that is with extreme caution.  I can start doing strict movements with more weight.  I can get my heart rate up again...but I must slowly start working towards jerking type exercises.  This has allowed me to not be so limited and I am able to WOD again with only a few limitations.

Yesterday I was able to WOD with only ONE modification.
Our barbell skill was max strict press.....but I just did 6rounds of 5 strict presses at 75# (about 65% of my max).
WOD was 30 back squats with 95#, run a 400, 20 front squats with 95#, run a 400 and 10 OH Squats (I opted to do barbell lunges instead of OH) and run a 400.
**I did great and felt great!
**And I came home and ate right all day long!!! And I thinks it's because of the effort I put into my workout??

But I WOKE UP SORE TODAY!  Kind of surprises me since I have been doing lots of leg exercises!?!  But it goes to show, when you are up against a clock, the extra intensity does make a huge difference.

My legs are as hard as a rock!  My abs are even sore!  And my boobs feel heavy---like I just gave birth.  But NO pain, just sore!

I welcome the soreness!  Like I said, it's another part of keeping me motivated! If I am sore, that means it must be working:-).

Today was a benchmark day at CrossFit.  Every 6months we do certain exercises to see how much we have improved.  Six month ago I did FILTHY FIFTY and I went ALL OUT! I was so proud to finish second overall....with a pretty good time of 26mins.

Today, I got a piece of humble pie though.  My time will be wiped off the wall and replaced with someone who did it this time around :-(.....  And then of course, I did my own modified version of a FILTHY FIFTY and still couldn't reach the time I had 6months ago!!

6months ago I did this in 26min

My extremely modified workout was....
50 one legged box step ups
50 reverse pull-ups from knees
50 russian swings with #15 dumbbell
50 walking lunges
50 k2e
50 isolated curls
50 leg extensions
50 squats with KB
50 push ups form my knees (first time to try push ups and felt fine)
50 v-ups

**This took me 28mins:-(

Again, I may not be where I left off, but I am getting closer....and with the MOTIVATION coming back, it sure gives me hope!!!

It's all part of the progress......  Here's to STAYING MOTIVATED!!!

Struggling Well

Struggling Well!!! That's been my new phrase of choice lately.  It all started with ministry work a couple of months back, then has leaked over into my personal, everyday life here recently.

So what does STRUGGLE WELL actually mean to me??? It means I am doing nothing extra and simply managing to get by!  And this is SOOO NOT ME!!! This type of character trait or personality is one I don't like! It's one in where I can find myself FAIL...and FAIL a lot.  But, it's not by choice that I get to this point.  It's simply by accident.  And by the time I realize it, I have a bit of a mess to clean up afterwards.

Let me back up a bit and give you a bigger picture....

A couple of months back, ministry started becoming WORK, rather ministry.  This began the STRUGGLE.  Leaders were missing more frequently due to life, I was short handed, lessons needed to be tweaked, etc.  I started losing focus on what the goal of the ministry was and started my own self pity. This is not good! ** However, it doesn't end there.... it actually led me to another STRUGGLE...which was my own personal growth and walk.  I began to fall behind in my Bible Studies and due to my motherhood life, I have missed more than my fair share of Bible study times here recently.  This eventually leads me to get out of the habit of starting my day with God.....and sometimes even miss the opportunity to meet with God at all anytime of the day.

Can you see the STRUGGLE??? Ministry is becoming work and stressful, which leads to less Bible Study time, which leads to less time with God.  **not going in the right direction

And now, I am over a week into another attempt to clean eat.  But have realized I am STRUGGLING to do this simple task that I am passionate about doing.

WHY AM I STRUGGLING????  WELL.......

Yesterday, as I was talking to our Pastor after staff meeting he asked me a simple question that I have been thinking about for 24hrs.......  "Why do you do what you do?"

Guess what, ladies??? I had forgotten the WHY?  And got lost in the struggles of life and was trying to do life on my own!  THIS CAN'T BE DONE!!!

Today I woke up....still struggling, but STRUGGLING WELL as I have been reminded of WHYs in my life.

Don't Forget Why YOU do what YOU do, either??  ***Btw: Jesus cleans up our messes we left behind, too!!

Pros and Cons and My Status So Far

I am three weeks post surgery and feeling GREAT!  Swelling has gone down tremendously now....  I don't think I have any swelling unless I have been laying down for awhile and even then, it goes down within minutes.  I have dropped into my regular position and now just waiting on them to form their new shape....which for me means I can't enjoy too much of this new freedom of going braless as I would like---and am tempted to do.  I must actually wear a bra all the time....and one that pushes me up and in too (cos it will help to shape them in that way---rather drop too far south). This includes wearing them to bed too (yuck).

So what are the Pros and Cons so far of my new "additions".


PRO- 1.  I love them! I am so happy that I have done this for myself.  It's nice to have some lady curves (aka by me as my Lady Lumps).  I do not feel manly anymore!
CON-1.  I wish I would have gone one size bigger.  I am glad no one can "tell" I have had them done, but I would like just a little more volume--just a little.

PRO-2. I can go braless and no one can tell (unless I am wearing something that is thin). I wore a halter top to a baseball game the other day---without a bra.  So nice not having to worry about your tops falling off due to no lady lumps!! HA
CON-2. I am not really allowed to go braless often as these new things are supposed to be tied up tight for the next few months to gain a good shape.

PRO-3.  So far all my tops are still fitting me.  No need to buy new clothes---even though I want new clothes.
CON-3.  I am so broke for paying for these additions that I can't afford new clothes right now! LOL!
***MOTHER'S DAY GIFT---New Super Duper Tight Running Bra!!!!

PRO-4.  I am not afraid to get dressed in the light anymore in front of Todd!!!
CON-4.  However, I am still restricted from too much "contact".  (sorry TMI?)

PRO-5. My workout tanks are not falling off my shoulders anymore.
CON-5. However, I haven't been released to go all out exercise wise ****and this is making me anxious!!

As far as this stage of recovery.....recovery is good! So good that I am tempted to do things I am not allowed to do yet! LOL!!! Cos I feel absolutely fine! But I am trusting what I have been told by the doctors and doing what I am allowed to do.  I even feel good enough to have met up with my old college roommate, Casie, this past weekend for a quick Girls Getaway.....poolside conversation, out to eat, a few drinks, and Pete's Piano Bar!!! :-).

Casie and I ate Pete's Piano Bar (Can you say PUSH UP BRA?)

This week I have been able to add some very light running to my workouts and a little bit of weight  (so light weight that I am even wondering if it is actually benefiting me--LOL).  So what do my workouts consist of??

LEGS
Deep Air Squats
Light Weight Barbell Squats
Leg Extensions (can go heavy here)
Leg Curls (standing)
Pistols (lots and lots of pistols)
Step Up on the Box
Wall Sits
Walking
Jogging------**this feels a bit awkward still, as I have an air pocket I can feel swishing around.  This is normal but I am still being super careful. I bet I am running slower than a 10min pace.
Lunges

LEG WORK----and some chicken legs on the grill!! :-)

CARDIO
Elliptical (no arms)
Walking
Speed Walking
Easy and short Jogging

Easy jog and Speed Walk at the Park

ABS
Very little (just lower abs)  **Seems abs incorporate chest no matter what.

ARMS
Very little---just light weight dumbbell curls (isolated and with light weight-10#)


DIET---This is where I am really concentrating myself on right now.  As of Monday, I have been back on track with a super strict clean eating program.  This week I am eating nothing but shakeology, lean meats, and veggies.  NO DAIRY. NO RED MEATS, VERY VERY LITTLE NUTS, NO STARCHES, NO TREATS, etc...

My Status: I feel a like I am losing my lady lumps in my arms:-( I can still flex it, but the lump is slowly going down!!! I need my heavy weights asap! HAHA!  My six pack isn't visible anymore, but it was way better than it was right after surgery with all the bloating.  Next week, I will be able to hit my abs a little more aggressively and regain my abs back!

My Weight: I am exactly the same weight.  146#